Happy 14th Birthday Jack!!!

It is so hard to believe he was ever that small!! or that we were!!

It was so hard to pick pictures for this post so there are LOTS!!! He was soooo cute!! and very serious when working!!!

First fish!!!

He wore a cowboy hat and boots for years!!!

He has always been a hard worker!!!

Looks like a Devo music video = )

So proud of himself!

He has so many talents this was his days as Elvis in a summer theater musical!

This was his summer of watching musicals on TV (just kidding) His fractured his hip riding dirt bikes the 2nd day of summer break.

But I must say he was not to bad.

trying a new skill out...

Growing up so fast!!!

I love this picture we were on a train trip after jack had spent a week at camp!

I am so blessed to have such a great son!!

He has so many interests and is good at so many things. When I look at him now he just looks so grown up!

I have to say Jack is a great kid!!! I love him so much and he has taught me so much. 15 years ago we lived for the weekends and life was about what made us happy. My world changed so much the moment I found out I was pregnant. I had no idea!!! And the day he was born I was so shocked at the love I had for this little guy. Well it only grew and so did he!!! I am so thankful the Lord blessed us when he did with this child, we were on the wrong path and had fallen away form God. Then came Jack and the holy spirit guided us back. Jacks faith and worship for the Lord was wonderful for us to see. And Now as a young man he is heading out to do the Lords work in Peru in a few months. We are so proud of him. His caring and kindnees to Kai on our trip to China and his love for his little sister, I could not be prouder. I Love you so much Jack and love watching you grow into a responsible young man who loves the Lord. Thank you for putting up with all my practical jokes and being a good sport! Thank you for not being to cool to sit with me I love the time we spend together! I love having you as a son and can not wait to see all the great things you will do in the next 14 years!!! Lets just keep the injuries to a minimum!!!!

I love you!! Happy 14th Birthday!!!!

So Blessed!!! (long post)

In 2003 after many years of trying we decided that adoption would be how we added to our family. Or now looking back it was the plan all along! We decided after allot of research that we would use a private agency that works with the county. And so we started the long process of taking all the classes to become adoptive parents and foster parents. We completed that process in Dec of 2004. We had to answer some really hard questions, Like what type of special needs will you accept. For me I was pretty open Mike not so much and I did not press the issue as we had to be 100% on the same page. After 2 years of waiting and not knowing our chances we not very good because we lived in a different county and they wanted to keep the kids in the county they were from and county adoption had slowed, we started looking again at our options.
Like we were in control = )
In Nov. 2005 we put our application in to CCAI!! We now thought we would have our daughter in 9 to 10 months! No as we were collecting paperwork for our Dossier things started to slow way down like way down!!! We got really discouraged even stopped doing paperwork for a little bit. I had prayed so many times for the Lord to bless us with a child so many times. Then it was Lord we want to do your will Please give us a clear path ( I begged face down on my bed room floor) But by this point my prayers had changed to Please take this away from me Lord. I continued to pray and pray and pray for clarity for the desire to have more children to go away for his will!!! I was always looking at the waiting child list or special needs list but was not sure how Mike would feel about it. I finally asked him. He said lets do it. So we filled out a medical check list of the special needs we would consider. And I was back to the paperwork.
We were on vacation and I checked the waiting child list and saw the cutest little boy, That was Aug 2006. My first thought was he is so cute I dont even have a chance! I have no idea how long he was there. His special need was not listed it just said they were translating and if interested contact them. I sent an email and let it go... I got an email back saying we will add you to the list... I thought so
I got an email back asking if we wanted his file YES!!!!
We researched his special need which was Hydrocephalus (fluid on the brain) untreated he was 3. We talked to doctors and prayed but We knew as soon as we saw him. We prepared and read and continued the paperwork. We were having a son!!! We prayed he would be well, but knew he could have disabilities Psychical and learning. I read everything I could to be ready for what ever His needs would be. I knew allot of times the needs were worse than what the families were told. I prayed the Lord would prepare me.
On Feb 26 2007 We met Kai !!! He was beautiful and perfect!!! We were so blessed!!!! Thank you LORD!
After returning home we had him checked out an we were sent to University Hospital to the best Ped Nero surgeon Dr. Cohen. We were told Kai had moderate to severe Hydrocephalus and needed surgery. He felt that because it was so filled with fluid and things were really spaced out, He could preform a Endoscopic third ventriculostomy. Put a hole in the center of his ventricle and the fluid would be able to drain by it self. NO SHUNT!!! this would be a one time thing as apposed to a shunt which could require as many as 15 surgeries over his life! So 2 months after coming home Kai had brain surgery and 5 MRIs and is perfect!!! He is very smart very loving and kind. He was delayed in gross motor skills but he doing just fine. We have a wonderful and healthy son!!
My drive to be a mom just did not let up. We said we would wait it out with the agency we were with and I was fine with this as we had LOTS of medical bills as ALL Kai's medical was out of network!
But on May 11th I was sent an email saying look at the cuties on this waiting child list...
and what did I do? I looked...
And there was this cute little face. But we were not doing the China thing again...
I saw her special need was a VSD Heart condition, humm
I showed Mike but I was not sure or did not let my self even think it was possible. He said get her file. WHAT???
I asked for it and was told another family was viewing it also they said have your Dr. look at it and let us know. I did and still did not get my hopes up She was very small and her VSD was very large. It was repaired but I had heard many children need more surgeries and sometimes have additional heart issues. My Dr. said it looked fine. I asked Mike what he thought he said lets do it!!! REALLY???? So I was Back to Paper work and researching VSD and other heart issues. I Prayed each day for her heart to stay healthy till we came to get her!! I prepared my self to expect surgery when we came home ( this time I found the best DR. and he was in our network!!!)
Well to get to my point FINALLY. We had Shamiao's (Lily's sorry I still call her Shamiao She can choose when she is ready) Cardiologist appointment today. He did a echo cardiogram I was getting very worried as the minutes ticked by. The tech did it for 30 to 40 Min. I thought for sure she saw something bad. Then she said do you know who did the surgery? do you know What hospital? I said no to both. She said well they did a great job. YEAH!!! The DR. came in and said it looks great!!!! Really??? He said we dont have to see her for 5yrs. He said forget she has a scar on her chest and treat her as if she doesn't!!!!! He said she has 2 arteries at the top of her heart but that it will not affect her at all unless she ever needs a pacemaker. Thank you LORD!!!!! She is Perfect!!! ALL her test have come back and everything is fine!
I feel so grateful I can hardly even put words to it.
I also feel a little guilt it is odd but I want to be honest as someone reading may need these words I write. Guilt for what??? not sure how to say it really...
There are so many Children so so many and so many that have major special needs...
I had seen so many children's photos and only when Kai and Shamiao's showed up did we know they were meant for us we went by faith when making our decisions. We opened our hearts and told the Lord we would accept them how ever he brought them to us. God is so GOOD he has blessed us so much!!!
So I am not sure it is guilt really...
I was just willing to take on so much more...
Mike says we are DONE!!!
I say Lord I am Willing!
I hope this makes sense and comes across that I am so so grateful that Lord has blessed us with 3 wonderful and HEALTHY kids!!!
and the tears of gratitude are flowing!!!!
Sorry this was so long!! = )

Videos!!!

I am hoping this works it is my first try!
This is one of Lily eating using chop sticks she is very good at it!!


And this is her singing. She sings this little song allot not sure what it is but she is very serious when she sings it! Sorry about the end Jack was getting lazy or something???


You may want to scroll to the bottom and pause the music. Enjoy!!!

Funny thing??? or reality check???

So here I was at church and I was talking to a young woman (25ish? I think) and she was asking how Lily was doing and small talk and then she said "does it take you back to your youth chasing a young one around again?" I have never felt old, Never!!! I am not old, I am only 39, But I have to say it took me back!!! I am not even sure what I said. Never thought of my self as one of those old moms, Am I???? Wow, at first I thought no she just didn't know what to say and that was what came out... But now I keep thinking wow am I one of those....
Maybe I am???
More processing needed on that.
I will be 53 or 54 when she graduates??? That does not seem bad to me??
Now Mike... he is old!!!!! = )
...he has 6 years on me!
Really I feel led to be a mother, God has laid it on my heart and during the long period of the adoption process not moving I prayed and prayed that he would just take it away form me. He did not and it has been in his time!!! I would have loved to have my children pretty close together but that was not the plan I guess! Am I done??? That is up to Him!!! Mike says we are and I am not working on anything but if he were to call I would answer!! Old and all!!! I am so blessed by the Lord he trusted me to raise his children and I get so so so much joy from it. And I say this having a teen and a toddler!!!! and on in between who always says to me " what do you want to be?" I say a mom he says that's it????? Yep that's it!!!! (I guess he does not realize why we go to the office/shop almost every day??) so I guess a mom and a business owner is it!

Its been too long...

Feeding the babies. She is so good with her babies very loving and soft with them!!!

Hanging out at big brother Jacks baseball game!

Trying to make my mom giggle = )

Really now??? More pictures??? Cant you see I am ready for my nap??

She has the funniest facial expressions but I can not get them on film she always gives me this one and as soon as I am done she smiles and thinks it is so funny. I will have to get sneaky!!!

I know I know!!! Sorry I came down with the flu this week and have felt horrible = (

I miss my camera I have not picked it up in a while. There are so many pictures I need to take!!! The sun is shinning and flowers are blooming. These were a few taken with jacks camera and my phone. I am off the pick up the boys I hope to post again soon !! I am still trying to post a video but I am having a hard time??? Any of my Blogging friends who can help please do send me an email Please!!!

More pictures

Really enjoying the swing!!!

I am so in love!!!! I cant even tell you! She fits in so well. She is so funny!! She continues to do really great. She loves to help no matter what I am doing she has to help me. She wants my attention 95.9% of the time so it has been hard to get anything done besides the minimum. I feel it is important to give her all of the attention she needs but it really wares you down! I hear mama about 900 times an hour = ) But believe me I am not complaining!!! I have had my moments when I feel everybody needs or wants something from me and I don't have much more to give but there have only been a few. I am praying that life slows down a little I feel I am just running from one thing to the next and I have no schedule at all people have called to chat but I have really not had time to call them back. Like I said I am only getting the minimum done at this point. Lily (I still call her Shamiao) is signing I started her on the baby Einstein my first signs just like I did with Kai and she is picking it up. She is not as eager to talk as Kai was but is doing just fine she understands a lot she just chooses not to say things unless I prompt her to or make her and sometimes she will only sign it. Like help. Her blood work has all comeback good so we are super happy about that!!! the last one is the chromosome test and it may not be back till next week. I still just love to sit and watch her, God is so good!!!!

About my boys...

I could not have dreamed I would be so blessed to have such wonderful boys!!! I mean that 100% and That God choose me to be their mom = )

All my fears of things that could have happen in China... And not one of them happened! Instead wonderful things happened. My boys loved and accepted their sister, tears and wines and all!!!

And more than I could have hoped or dreamed!!!

And their own love grew for each other. Jack was SO wonderful and so considerate of how Kai was feeling. He kept giving Kai lots of attention and love. Lily needed me and most of my attention. Jack saw that and took it upon him self to be there for Kai. Jack the Lords love was shining brite through you!!! How awesome that I did not have to ask he saw his brothers need and met it!!! I could not be prouder!!! really he met his need before it became a need. Jack saw that it may be a need and was there!!! This was the most awesome thing for me to witness as a mom!!! His sister was watching and just adores Jack!!!

Kai was also wonderful!!! He has let his sister take his things and get her way most of the time. He is learning he does not have to let her take things out of his hand and he can say no!!! I thought China would be very stressful for Kai, But once again my prayers were answered, he did wonderful. This is a huge adjustment and my boys did not blink an eye they have taken their rolls as big brothers and are doing an amazing job!!!! Thank you Lord for bringing us together as a family and for blessing us in so so many ways!!!! Thank you for letting me be Jack and Kai's mom and for letting me witness your love shine through them!!!!

I really can not put my love and appreation in to words!!!

Thank you (for the boys sake) the tears and wines are now very minimal!!!!